White Day, a tradition observed in several East Asian countries, involves men reciprocating gifts to women who presented them with chocolates on Valentine’s Day. This custom, originating in Japan in 1978, has become a complex mix of social expectation and commercial enterprise. Poet Margaret Coats explores the multifaceted nature of White Day in two contrasting poems, “White Day Shopping” and “A White Day Dilemma,” offering insightful commentary on the pressures and potential awkwardness inherent in this modern ritual.
Contents
Navigating the Gift-Giving Maze: “White Day Shopping”
Coats’ “White Day Shopping” paints a vivid picture of the meticulous planning and calculated gift selection process that accompanies White Day. The poem meticulously lists appropriate presents for various female relationships:
For friends, pale sugar cookies readymade,
White chocolate, lilies, daisies, scarves with flair;
For relatives, adornments for the hair,
Perfume, a bag with seed pearls appliquéd;
The escalating value of the gifts reflects the perceived importance of the relationship. While friends and colleagues receive more generic tokens, family members receive more personalized items, culminating in luxurious gifts for wives or fiancées:
For wife or fiancée, lace lingerie,
Fine jewels, or a just-for-two soirée
Revealing manly gratitude within.
The poem highlights the societal pressure on men to not only reciprocate but also to exceed the value of the Valentine’s Day gifts, transforming a gesture of affection into a potential financial burden and a performance of “manly gratitude.”
The Awkward Dance of Reciprocity: “A White Day Dilemma”
In stark contrast to the calculated gifting in “White Day Shopping,” “A White Day Dilemma” presents a more nuanced and relatable scenario. The poem centers around a man struggling to reciprocate a perfunctory Valentine’s Day gift, highlighting the awkwardness and potential misinterpretations that can arise:
As valentine, she gave a duty gift:
Not worth much, it sat on his desk for days.
She noticed. “Don’t you like this little heart?”
He groped for words, and couldn’t meet her gaze:
The man’s internal monologue reveals his internal struggle. He grapples with the social expectation of reciprocation while simultaneously trying to decipher the true meaning behind the initial gift. The clerk at the confectionery shop, recognizing his dilemma, suggests a more modern approach:
“Invite her,” hints the clerk, “for conversation.
Though gifts do speak, there’s none at any price
So eloquent as café love diversion,
An easy spree of speech not overnice.”
This suggestion subtly shifts the focus from material exchange to genuine connection, suggesting that shared experience might be more valuable than extravagant gifts.
A Reflection on Modern Romance
Through these two poems, Coats offers a thoughtful commentary on the complexities of White Day. “White Day Shopping” exposes the commercialization and potential superficiality of the tradition, while “A White Day Dilemma” delves into the anxieties and potential for genuine connection that lie beneath the surface. Both poems invite readers to contemplate the evolving landscape of modern romance and the often-awkward dance of reciprocity in relationships.
Margaret Coats, a Ph.D. holder in English and American Literature and Language from Harvard University, expertly utilizes traditional poetic forms to explore contemporary social dynamics, demonstrating the enduring power of poetry to illuminate the human condition.