The classic poem “A Visit from St. Nicholas” by Clement Clarke Moore has inspired countless parodies and adaptations. This 1988 spoof, originally published in the Tucson Citizen, offers a humorous take on the traditional Christmas Eve visit, reimagining it through the lens of 1980s yuppie culture. The poem, titled “A Visit from St. Nicholas, 1988,” cleverly satirizes the materialistic desires and consumerist habits of the era.
A Consumerist Christmas Eve
The poem opens with the narrator, a self-satisfied yuppie, detailing his luxurious surroundings: mauve satin sheets, an antique quilt, and a townhouse decked out for the holidays. The focus quickly shifts to the abundance of gifts, carefully chosen to reflect the family’s affluent lifestyle. A hair crimper, a hard-disk computer, designer clothes, and even a “surgery voucher for a redesigned nose” await the teenage daughter. The younger son’s bounty includes Nintendo, a dirt bike, a big-screen TV, and a multitude of other electronic gadgets.
Santa’s Surprising Visit
The anticipation builds as the narrator describes leaving out blue corn chips, salsa, and Australian beer for Santa. However, the expected visit takes a humorous turn. Santa, upon arriving, reveals that the family has already acquired everything on their list, and more. There’s simply nothing left to give them.
This unexpected twist highlights the poem’s satirical core. The family, so focused on material possessions, has lost sight of the true spirit of Christmas. Santa, instead of delivering gifts, delivers a gentle rebuke. His sleigh is loaded for those “less well-off,” a stark contrast to the narrator’s overflowing abundance.
A Gouda Night
The poem concludes with Santa’s departure and a final, pun-filled farewell: “Yuppie Christmas to all, and to all, gouda night!” This playful ending reinforces the satirical tone, leaving the reader with a humorous reflection on the excesses of consumerism.
This “Night Before Christmas Spoof” offers a witty and insightful commentary on the cultural landscape of the 1980s. It reminds us that the true meaning of Christmas lies not in material possessions but in the spirit of giving and sharing. The poem serves as a humorous reminder to appreciate the simple joys of the season and to consider those less fortunate. This satirical take on a beloved classic resonates even today, prompting reflection on our own consumerist tendencies and the importance of a more meaningful holiday experience.